Baruch Atah Adonai... chanting it, blinking my eyes to Your rhythm, feeling a strong meditative holy state all throughout my physical body and nerves, singing, imploring G-d to touch me with His love, as I touch the Torah as if it is my birthed baby, cradling it on my lap, carrying it under my arms everywhere, loving it, absorbing it into my soul, protected by its knowledge, it guiding me in all my affairs.
Hashkivenu Adonai! You helped me as I asked You to do. You have provided for me in my hours of need, You have made my life easier, You have risen me and sent me on a journey aloft of Earthly cares, I depend on You only, only Your love, for it is truer than any other love. Your love is not tainted, it is not adverse, it is not the love of a cursed one, it is the love I need, and the love that will send me up above the clouds, adrift of all thundering rain, softly setting me on a throne seated next to You, I seek You, Adonai, I want You, I will never forsake You.
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