Silence Is Like A Flower Blooms

Traveling backwards, homewards, back to my old bedroom in my old house, my childhood room that was there 50 years ago, back in my bed, with my covers over my head, comfy, safety, no nightmares, soft white lights, windows, light baby blue painted walls, my sister's bed is next to mine. Bunk-beds, she is over my head, guarding me in the night, dogs barking but all outside. Lights from passing cars reflecting in the night as they pass our house and car lights streak across our bedroom walls. Silence in the night. Silence is not like a cancer that grows, silence is like a flower blooms.

The Whiteness of Wisdom

Wearing a golden silken Tallit with strong leather wrapped Tefillin, lovingly engaged in the task of creating the world on the World Wide Web, as HASHEM guides me in my words. Tightness on left hand and arm while typing history, words typed are holy awe-inspiring prayers to God, inspired by God as I absorb the words of the Shema that is in my Tefillin leather head piece resting on my hairline. Hairline even, not receding, not balding, not dying my hair black. Blackness not darkness, heightened highlights of pure whispering whiteness of wispy hairs that represent wise[ness]--Wisdom: The Whiteness of Wisdom!

White warm snow melting in heaps, piles getting smaller as we approach a new season soon: 20 Shevat, soon to be Rosh Hodesh Adar: The Month of Happiness. New moons, new months, having hopefulness: healthiness and happiness. Not jumping off waterfalls into white rapids, rocket's garaged this year.

Growing great greenness in my sunny soil in an outdoor greenhouse. Wishfully watering vegetable seeds while schmoozing, composting paper products, paper plates and paper cups, outgrowths of large tall trees, paper from trees decomposing into needed nourishment, recycling and growing tomatoes. Green tomatoes then red ones, feeding seeds to red Cardinal birds coming to snack, Aphids will have to find another home. Suckling on tomatoes, chopped, strewn on salads. There will be another Kiddush and another Shabbat!

Finding Your Missing Peace/Piece Of The Puzzle

Whisper if you want someone to hear you, get up and offer someone your chair whose standing, if you have two of the same item give one away to another who has none, do not offer someone something you yourself would not want, if you do not have anything nice to say do not say anything at all, dress in clothing that you would want God to see you in if He came down to Earth to say hello, wish for others what you would want for yourself, if you see someone is in need do not hesitate to help them, give others advice by letting them know what you do to help yourself that works, read books that separate you from evil, let someone know you love them before it is too late and they die, self-deny yourself something you crave and desire and instead give it to God as a gift, gratify yourself with beautiful perfumes and always think you are beautiful, wash your hands regularly and brush your teeth with toothpaste after eating anything, exercise and be active sometime during the day hours, sit in the sunlight and feel its warmth on your skin, look out a window and mellow out, mail money to someone who needs it, give to the poor, support your religious organization financially, think great thoughts to combat boredom or disturbing thought patterns, believe you are loved, ask a nurturer for comfort when you are injured, know God is always there even when you are not looking.

Turning Around In Dizzy Circles

Leprechaun tricks, paybacks, revenge, grudges, warring, slyness, sticking it to 'em, rebelling against good sense, wickedness, deception, untruths, falsifications, jealousies, coveting, tarnished silver, mud, stickiness like gum stuck on the bottom of a desk, foot slipping to trip 'em, getting even, asserting oneself over another, cutting in, interrupting, waving hands around while speaking, pounding your fist on the table, stomping one's feet, threatening, belittling, reducing pride, causing a megillah, speaking out with impure lips, competing with someone to win, trying to be in power... Stop!

Turn around, about face, put it in reverse:

Laughing, chuckling, respecting another's space, obeying rules, satisfaction, holiness, generosity, consideration, lending, giving, offering, mitzvoth, singing, a helping hand, niceties, sweetness, getting on the good side, being honest, not selfish, not asking for rewards, tickling a child, kissing a baby, telling a story, writing a love letter, reading a book, specialness, hushing, peacefulness, not crying, cooking a meal, washing one's hands, chanting a blessing... forward, march!

 

Yitro, The Zohar, and Our Little Sister

 

The Zohar tells us what to do with "a little sister who has no breasts."

"And it came to pass, on the third day" (Shemot 19:16). Rabbi Aba opened the discussion with the verse, "We have a little sister and she has no breasts, what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for" (Shir Hashirim 8:8). "A little sister" is the Congregation of Yisrael, which is called 'the sister of the Holy One, blessed be He'. "She has no breasts" is as we have learned, that when Yisrael approached Mount Sinai, they had in them no merits or good deeds to protect them, as it is written, "she has no breasts" for they are the beauty of a woman, and a woman's beauty comes from them alone. "What shall we do for our sister," that is, what will be done with them when the Holy One, blessed be He, reveals Himself on Mount Sinai to proclaim the words of the Torah, for their souls will fly away from them." ~The Zohar

If you have this type of younger, little sister, that is spoken of in YITRO in The Zohar where no nurturing or lovingkindness, merit, or good deeds are found: then you must work extra hard to create lovingkindness in the relationship in order to get a drop of milk from this starved tiny breast, or you will starve; you must ask your little sister for mercy and offer her everything you have in order to try to get that mercy from her, in order to establish a relationship that is not toxic. You must be the constant giver in the relationship and she will become the receiver, because she has no milk to give; otherwise the little sister will throw fits of revenge and exhibit other toxic behaviors. The Torah instructs us to "Stay away from all women on the 3rd day" so we do not have this back and forth severe unhealthy toxic relationship with this "little sister" when we are trying to encounter and feel God, love, and spirituality in our lives. I think that there are some women who are not toxic and it is up to you as an individual to seek the non-toxic relationships and nourishment from women (and men) even when you want to encounter God; and to nourish the little sisters in our lives so they get some love. I believe that God is present to us when we are in a relationship, people are of impure lips, so we do not always need to be speaking, we can enjoy another's attentions in a quiet way, and not have to stay away from everyone who may or may not be toxic.

God is echad. Echad means "alone." We can find God's presence in quiet moments alone too, and this is because God is present at all times, in all places, with or without humans in the environment. Personally, I like to maintain a "lonely holiness" as a sure-fire way to experience spirituality, and would rather not have to put up with toxic individuals (women or men). But it is not good to live alone: human relationships provide us with the opportunity to do mitzvoth as often as we can. And humans living together provide us with opportunities in our daily lives for these actions that are necessary to live holy lives. 

Gazuntite Means "Good Health To You"

"Gazuntite!" German origin. Means "good health to you." Good health wishes constantly but to no avail: sickness spreading, people dying, wheeling wheelchairs with mezuzot on doorposts trying hard to do their thing, dead people being removed from rooms. Blood pressure skyrocketing with kosher salt added to kosher meat: HASHEM barely keeping mine in check on stressful days: Holy days spent in an Egypt disguised as Israel. He's raising his hands to get an effect, Zohar says it's forbidden, "Raise hands only when speaking in praise of HASHEM." Curses by the hundreds cast upon his hands. My hands hidden under prayer shawls, tightly tied with Tefillin, a pat on the back will break your spine. Spindly old men/women without incomes trying to stay alive: free foods, free shelters, kill 'em off so taxpayers have relief. Brainwashing to raise medicines.

Creativity flying, sensitivity in a drawing stroke like a tulip leaf fluttering in a cool springtime breeze. Learning how Albert Einstein formulated his atom bomb theory and why. Wondering how his life led up to such incredible original thinking patterns, said he dreamt he was dancing on a rainbow: feeling rainbows to keep from falling into quicksand, not going to be sucked up with the rest of 'em. Head colds and Laryngitis, keeping open Torah at all times so he gets cured and 'fraid to sin. Excuse: He must make a living. Davening for their lives, praying for decency and mercy everyday every minute.

At A Mardi Gras Party In Egypt On Tu B' Shevat

Catching on, smartening up, smelling danger before it happens, taking precautions, prophesies, predictions all coming true, fortune-telling future-telling, breathing easier, not waiting for doom, causing my own happiness[es], healing my own mind body and soul, figuring out the formulas, taking and giving with forethought, not being set up for failure, tumbling green-eyed giants, not adding fuels to fires, not burning. Laughing and rejoicing as I enjoy all life, HASHEM saving me again and again. Relaxing as I work, no stresses, no worries, nothing at all to bother me. Drums pounding next door but in my home peace and silence, snow falling delicately not hitting the ground with a thud. Lights turned on but not overly-bright, soft white lights as I squint in the darkness as Divine Light surrounds and protects me. Mothers everywhere hooting for me, drinking in their nourishment, breast-feeding even on the smallest breasts, milk dripping from my chinny chin-chin, licking off a white moustache, saved by the Shekinah, by Her. Feeling the wonderment and living in a fairyland, always believing in mazal tov! Blessings for me and for you! 

On Forgiving the Esaus and Leahs In Our Families

 

On forgiving the wicked, the hateful people, feeling sorry for someone who hates, hatred eating them up inside, jealousies in the lineage of Esau brother of Jacob, Leah's womb stretched open, was the less loved of the two sisters, Rachel was fatter with richness, with fewer children. Leah attacking Rachel's dreams, attacking her sister's pride and righteousness, dishonoring her family member, bullets of hatred flying, mothers seeing hatred and attacks, trying to stay alive to foster family peace. Leah drinking booze to increase her strength, disease of Depression, drowning in purple grapes, filling up the wine glass taller and taller, not being able to stop. Obsessions with competition, coveting, wanting what the other sister has, destroying all she has left, taking from her everything including her clothes, fighting and stabbing.

Rachel and Jacob the Good-Hearted, forgiving wicked Esaus and Leahs. Rachel and Jacob: having their mother's heart, their father's inheritance, honoring one's mother and father, father and mother, continuing to please them, showing them love and respect. Healing wounds: yours, hers and his. Continuing to live, and to love.

Play It Again, Sam!

Teaching your children or whoever else you can positively influence about Judaism, not believing in ghosts and making them gods, reading Torah everyday, showing lovingkindness and selflessness to your fellow, your neighbor, doing mitzvoth, following your dreams, never giving up. Snow melts and seasons change, but the lesson is to hold fast onto Adonai and not letting that change, obeying the Commandments, helping others and not participating in wars and activities influenced by the impure. These are activities that must reach everyone's agenda. Reading and learning, but also teaching, also performing righteous actions. There is an "also" after it all--obsessive-compulsiveness is just a way of getting everything to be perfect. We need to "Play it again, Sam." We need to study Torah again, and pray again, the same prayers day after day, the same blessings, day after day. It is never completed--there is always a newborn baby, always another day, another sunrise/sunset. We keep plugging along and keep trying. If we are having trouble walking, we do not stop walking, we walk again and again, we perfect it and even learn to dance. If we learn to dance, we even become a professional dancer!   Bottom line is that The Study of Torah is all about IMPROVEMENT. We do not make the same mistakes, we do not offend someone again and again, we do not give up trying to be righteous. We are not all created equal and we are not all equals. There are some who are born with an advantage and there are some who have a healthier spirit than others. It is up to these people to teach and care for the disadvantaged so they too can have health and an advantage. So in this way we all end up as people who have a purpose in life, a calling. We all need to do our best, to do tikkun olam and fight for everyone to have the realizations of their dreams so we have a better world.

Following The Clouds As They Lead me to Adonai

Pouring torrents of freezing ice water over brilliant hot passionate fires, seeing fossilized 5775 year old pieces of wood spitting as the waters douse the flames, waters of Miriam, forgiveness, the ability to hate hatred, and to forgive enemies, as they die in masses before my very eyes, a death of worshipping multiple gods, seeing their gods as strangers, never having a true spiritual connection except to demonic forces. Idols hanging from walls as they mourn the death of their gods, as they died and burned in Hell as will their idol worshippers. Convert or die. You have a choice. We will give you a choice, but if you cannot accept 613 Commandments: We do not want you.

The holocaust murders have raised souls into the heavens as angels and now the world has more spirituality than it knows what to do with. We saw the splitting of the seas and we believed. We see miracles everyday, and we believe even more. Miracles keeping me up at night, giving me visions like lollypops or monsters, as I wakefully half sleep. Turning and tossing as spirits come to me with their life and death stories, storms of ghosts being defeated, and candles rising flames cutting through darkness, showing me all the secrets, keys turning, doors opening, understanding. Knowing why, what, how, when, and where. Not taking no or maybe for an answer, when no answers are available, I am creating my own. Relaxing as the clouds lift and clear, following the clouds as they lead me to Him.