Yitro, The Zohar, and Our Little Sister

 

The Zohar tells us what to do with "a little sister who has no breasts."

"And it came to pass, on the third day" (Shemot 19:16). Rabbi Aba opened the discussion with the verse, "We have a little sister and she has no breasts, what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for" (Shir Hashirim 8:8). "A little sister" is the Congregation of Yisrael, which is called 'the sister of the Holy One, blessed be He'. "She has no breasts" is as we have learned, that when Yisrael approached Mount Sinai, they had in them no merits or good deeds to protect them, as it is written, "she has no breasts" for they are the beauty of a woman, and a woman's beauty comes from them alone. "What shall we do for our sister," that is, what will be done with them when the Holy One, blessed be He, reveals Himself on Mount Sinai to proclaim the words of the Torah, for their souls will fly away from them." ~The Zohar

If you have this type of younger, little sister, that is spoken of in YITRO in The Zohar where no nurturing or lovingkindness, merit, or good deeds are found: then you must work extra hard to create lovingkindness in the relationship in order to get a drop of milk from this starved tiny breast, or you will starve; you must ask your little sister for mercy and offer her everything you have in order to try to get that mercy from her, in order to establish a relationship that is not toxic. You must be the constant giver in the relationship and she will become the receiver, because she has no milk to give; otherwise the little sister will throw fits of revenge and exhibit other toxic behaviors. The Torah instructs us to "Stay away from all women on the 3rd day" so we do not have this back and forth severe unhealthy toxic relationship with this "little sister" when we are trying to encounter and feel God, love, and spirituality in our lives. I think that there are some women who are not toxic and it is up to you as an individual to seek the non-toxic relationships and nourishment from women (and men) even when you want to encounter God; and to nourish the little sisters in our lives so they get some love. I believe that God is present to us when we are in a relationship, people are of impure lips, so we do not always need to be speaking, we can enjoy another's attentions in a quiet way, and not have to stay away from everyone who may or may not be toxic.

God is echad. Echad means "alone." We can find God's presence in quiet moments alone too, and this is because God is present at all times, in all places, with or without humans in the environment. Personally, I like to maintain a "lonely holiness" as a sure-fire way to experience spirituality, and would rather not have to put up with toxic individuals (women or men). But it is not good to live alone: human relationships provide us with the opportunity to do mitzvoth as often as we can. And humans living together provide us with opportunities in our daily lives for these actions that are necessary to live holy lives.