Crabbiness, not enough coffee, drinking more and more cups, hoping pains go away, flexing one's legs to TV yoga programs, trying to pray without a religion, not praying for anyone else but expecting everyone to pray for you, taking but never giving, expecting everyone to give to you but you are not even thankful, striking out at your loved ones, feeling miserable and trying to make them feel miserable too, pretending that the world is rosy but screaming inside and screaming at your family, using people for your gains and never developing a truly loving relationship from the heart.
Pains in your body constantly gnawing at your brain, trying to keep up a sharp brain but all it does is register the effects of your nerves, your pains, nerves alive tingling with every wince, as you walk but are hobbling, and cannot even stand up. Sitting in upholstered chairs because you cannot stand.
Crying out to everyone for help and getting nasty when someone cannot help you. Hiding in your misery, a conscience full of guilt as you abuse those around you with words from the gutter, constant abuse of your family, destroying the brains of your children.
There is a better way.
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