Wednesday, October 5, 2016

THE HOLINESS OF THE JEWISH FAST OF GEDALIAH

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Weakness in your body, depleted of foods and drinks, not anointing oneself with perfumes or lotions, not cleaning one's hands or teeth, giving it up to feel total weakness as a means to not feed the fuels of anger.

Anger dissipating with the shortness of fingernails, the absence of sharp nails, becoming naturally weaponless, hunger shrinking the size of your stomach.

The body not pumping up with fuel, foods being fuels like charcoal or gasoline, feeling the joy of an empty plate, a plate without taste, a plate without fuels that feed the intensity of your hatreds and thus putting out your fires.

Fires being put out with an absence of strength, not to keep them fueled.

Feeling thirstiness but not giving in to your desires to drink. Keeping a parched tongue so you do not lash it out to say something that will later cause you tears. A tongue that sticks to the roof of your mouth, weak and limp, not to chatter, not to gossip, not to slip and incriminate yourself or anyone else, a tongue that craves water but is not satiated, a tongue to keep in your mouth, to bite it, to gird it, to put it in a muzzle, not to use it as a weapon.

Fasting for a reason, to commemorate a great Jewish leader Gedaliah who was murdered in cold blood. To not have the strength of body to nurture anger against his murderer, instead as you grieve the loss of your body's strengths, to feel grief, sadness, because of our loss of the great life as our leader of the Jewish people. A sadness against those who nurture anger and use it for war instead of to create peace, the loss of a life of a great leader.

A Jewish Fast to keep your body still and your mind inactive, not to fuel fires, but to feel tears, to feel a body that cannot fight, so this sadness causes you peace.

To taste a tasteless tongue in your mouth that is dry and keeping a quiet mouth, with quiet tears, a time to feel an ache in your gut as it is not fed food, to feel this absence of anger as your hunger instead takes you to a place of grief.

A feeling of no arrogance, you are another hungry person in an unemployment line, a stomach that is not fed, not pumping yourself up with unnatural confidence, having a stomach like all other stomachs of all people everywhere that needs food to fill it. Being one of many with an empty stomach leaning on one leg, feeling the weakness of the other leg.

Having weakness, not hating, not in a fight, an absence of a fighting rage, a time to reflect on the plight of those who never have food, to feel compassion for those who must fast everyday.

Walking slowly kicking stones, as the weakness of your body gives you an appreciation for this day of peace, no aggression, not even to whisper a word of anger, no strength in your speech. Feeling your parched tongue, not having a forked tongue, not using a fork to lift food into your mouth. An absence of food, an absence of words.

Loving your fellow, being in forgiveness of those who try to destroy your peace, not having the strength to lift a finger against them, no calories of heat in your stomach. Forgiveness of the wicked as a result of fasting, to then be in a place of no wickedness because it hurts you not. G-D as your shield against all punches.

Like a balloon filled up and then pricked and letting out your air, not being pumped up with anger and false pride, not to boast and not to brag, merging with those around you who are hungry too and not satiated, shrinking the size of your big head with a pin to pop it, as you then get off your high horse and see things as they really are, not to be in a place of looking at reality through rose-colored spectacles.

Seeing the reality of the murder of a Jewish leader and the reality of the Lamentations of Zion with Yom Kippur soon to be here, to be in a place to cry for your family who were victims of pogroms and the Holocaust, to use this Fast Day to change your attitudes and use your life to change hatred into love. Being one who feeds the poor as you feel their hunger in your own gut.

Begging G-D to heal the sicknesses of the world and to feed those who hunger and fast everyday because of a lack of the same opportunities of those who enjoy richness.

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