WINNING WARS WITHOUT RETALIATION

 

Not to retaliate, to ignore insults and hurtful words and behavior, to not engage in an argument, having no argumentation no swords that are clinking in the air, to be sure and firm, to walk away from trouble, to not interact, to not fight ugly words with uglier words, to have a bridle on the tongue, to not invite trouble, to walk away, to turn around, to not be the one to cause a transgression, to not be the one in guilt, to be the better one.

To stop a fight before it starts, to not engage eye contact with the evil eye, to have a hamsa as each palm of your hands, to soften someone's hatred by not hating him back.

To not allow someone to get your goat, to be peaceful and relaxed, to always be in song in Hebrew prayer, to concentrate on avoiding a clash, to not spit out defensive words against their hate, to feel the presence of G-d as their grass withers and yours grows.

To not laugh and get your jollies when an enemy perishes, to never be glad of someone's death. To not entertain yourself with self pride when G-d punishes the enemy and grants you your desires and not them.

To always be the one to come out on top as the peaceful warrior who wins all wars without retaliation, who wins a war with the weapon of peace: Returning curses with blessings.

To be as pure natural mikvah water dissolving the fires of anger and hatred before they ignite.

THE BLESSING OF ENCOURAGEMENT

To show someone encouragement, to tell another that you are happy about his successes, to put in a good word for someone, to be a referral and tell others of another's goodness. To say kind words to someone that would increase their abilities to perform because you believe in them, to see another as competent and not to doubt them or decrease their confidence level because the truth is that you feel doubt about yourself and your own capabilities. To see someone as a shining light, a person who can guide you to truths instead of judging others as lesser, not able to offer you something that could help you.

Not forgetting about someone's history and telling them that they cannot help you or worse yet that they cannot help themselves. Not throwing Daniel to the lions because you cannot show him gladness for anything he says or does because of your own miseries. Not giving up on someone to tell them they have no future and no life's significance just because you cannot use them for your own personal gain.

To have reverence for another, to be proud of their successes and not to concentrate on their failures. To share in their happiness and to encourage them to repeat their successes and not to give up.

Not to give up on someone because you are really giving up on yourself. To see lightness and brightness in everyone's path and to support them and give them hope in their pursuits to continue to shine and to perform feats that cause an improvement in the world as a whole, in your world as well as in theirs, in everyone's.

FORGIVING AND FORGETTING

"To be able to look at another and offer love instead of judgment is the greatest level of a spiritual being. All of us have judgment, but when we treat others with respect and love, we can transform that judgment into mercy. Moreover, as we diminish our judgment of others, so is the judgment towards us lessened.

Today, take a few moments to feel the energy of the person next to you and treat him or her as you yourself would like to be treated. As you do, know that you are contributing to the peace in the world."
[Kabbalah Centre]

To look upon another without needing to judge them, without wanting to find a way that you come out on top and to put them on the bottom, judging them as good or bad, judging yourself as good and them as bad. Not to compare others with yourself and try to be more than them, not to think you are in a position to judge others as an authority over others, instead knowing that all people should be treated equally with no one who claims to be better or more than another.

Not to ask questions of another to put them on the defense, to try to find fault, to cross examine someone with the intent of pointing out their wrongness, not to act like a lawyer and accuse others of unethical behavior and say you yourself are ethical. Not to judge people and line them up, not to cause another to feel lower in status than you, not to say you are better and to force someone to be on the bottom as you step on them to be on the top.

To have acceptance of others, to give other people the benefit of the doubt, to excuse others, to be forgiving of others and not to hold grudges or to blame them.

THE RICHNESS OF FEMALE POWER

A barren female, single, not attached or married, not dependent, pure as the driven snow, putting her needs first as she does not have a child's needs to come before hers, getting an education for herself, going to banquets in honor of herself and not her children, having free time, time to learn, to teach, to help others, to be the leader of other females, to be a chief executive officer, to not need to mikvah, incurring no impurities, living a life of total freedom, inner freedom and outer.

Not dependent on a child's successes as your status symbols, becoming a success herself. Going to school for advanced degrees, entering contests and being awarded prizes. She eats the richest of viands and they pour freely from the heavens in a celebration for her to be satiated, to always have enough.

Standing alone with inner peace on top of a rock at the sea and singing a song but not as a siren, not as a pregnant female, not as a Venus symbol of love but as a Woman of Wisdom, a Woman of Valor, a woman who was nurtured by G- d Himself, nurtured overflowing not with needy children, a woman who leads and gets respect, is at the top of the ladder.

Not being drained of breast milk, instead drinking it herself, not a pillar of salt, instead the real meaning of being The Tree of Life, everyone of your seeds being planted and growing as generation to generation, as works of your own, successes that are yours, and not being judged by the successes or failures of your children, instead on your own merit.

THE MEANING OF THE PASSOVER SONG "DAYENU"

Day Day Enu, Day Day Enu, Dayenu, Dayenu! What a lovely song this is to sing on Passover, a song with a written script that puts the Hebrew word Dayenu after every sentence, every idea. How could this sound in song be so incredibly beautiful? And with such a catchy rhythm that encourages all to sing it in tune with you, singing Dayenu after Dayenu, and then again. To sway in your seats and to tap your foot, to hear the others singing and to beautifully blend your voice with theirs, giving great significance to this word Dayenu that we repeat over and over again.

What is the Hebrew meaning of Dayenu? It simply means "To have enough." That is it, such a simple meaning, a meaning that is not hard to comprehend, and when you ingest it internally and make it your lifestyle, you will be the happiest person in the world!

Dayenu is the truest key to happiness of all other advice that you will ever get. It means to be satisfied with what you have, to have enough, and in this way you will never be in a position of want where you may not be fulfilled. Because you will have had enough, not need more, be sated with what you have, not require others to give to you and you be in a position of receiving, to be in glory and perfect harmony with everything you own, so you do not need anything else.

Dayenu, that we sing over and over again with incredible joyousness on our tongue on Passover, is the key to success, and the meaning of the happiness we seek, that we will no longer need to be seeking, it will be found, and we will then be fulfilled.

All we need in life is Dayenu, what we have will then always "be enough."

BEATING SPRINGTIME CHEST COLDS

How to live with a chest cold infection and not let it get you down! No, there is no cure for the common cold, there are antibiotics for bacterial infections, but most of the time an infection of the chest is viral and not bacterial, so antibiotics will not work on a viral infection and their side effects will just worsen your condition. You just have to tough it out, be strong, treat yourself with special kindnesses, lower your expectations of your abilities that are easy to do when you are well but are a chore to do when you are sick.

Sometimes for some people a 50 mg. dosage 1x per day of the mineral tablet zinc while you have the head cold will be of some help. This works on some people and not on others. It increases the abilities of the immune system to be able to fight off the chest cold so it lasts for a shorter time than it would without the zinc.

Keep calm, prop your head up with pillows on your bed, cough when your throat is tickled and hold your hand over your mouth so the germs do not spread.

Use a vaporizer appliance in your bedroom to moisten the air, or if you have radiators put a pan of water over them that will heat up when the radiator is turned on and the steam will rise, or you could heat up water to boiling on your stove.

Taking vitamin C will help, each day you should take 250-500 mgs of vitamin C, and/or eat fresh oranges. This will help some but even with vitamin C in your diet, you may still be susceptible to catch the germ.

Try to do what you usually do, doing what you love to do each day, continuing your daily schedule, not to let the head cold limit your happiness, to still go to parties, to work, etc. but not while you are in the 5 day phase of still being contagious, not to spread your germs onto others and be the cause of another catching your cold.

Drink plenty of herb teas and pure water, reduce your intake of foods, your appetite will be lessened anyway so you will not be as hungry as you are when you are well.

There are over-the-counter medicines you can take that can reduce the fluids in your nose and keep you drier, but they all have side effects that could cause you to feel more unpleasant than without them. Most cold medicines cause drowsiness and this weakens the body's strength causing the body to have a harder time fighting off the infection and your cold will just last longer.

Stay indoors, or if you must go outside be sure to wear a hat over your head that covers your ears and a scarf that covers your throat. Do not be outside for long periods of time.

Keep washing your hands and showering once a day as you usually do, but do not wet your head with water, to postpone hair washing until when you are better.

Let your family and friends know you are sick so they can pray to G-d for you to heal, for them to sing the Mishe-Barakh prayer for you to get better and to again be healthy.

You, yourself pray to G-d, petition G-d to heal you and thank G-d for every moment of your life, whether you are in health or not.

HOW TO BE A MENSCH

Being raised as an "opponent" by your parents: someone with whom to compete against, another runner in the race, someone of whom to trip up, as a player in a chess game but not being taught the rules, a born Mah Jong player who is instead playing Bingo, winning all the games but not wanting or needing the prizes, sending the prizes home to family as trophies like a reindeer's severed head to be hung on a mantel in the family dining room where you no longer dine.

Raised to be the one to come out last in a race with your parent and siblings so that they come out first, to hobble across the finish line instead before them tattered with the use of only one leg, the others losing track of their goals in their self-made wars because they quibble with each other, so that keeps them from being able to focus on good intentions so they do not win, instead they lose.

As the turtle, winning the war that you did not create, but were set up to fight, and winning their war without a surrender, without a white flag, but instead winning it as a peaceful spiritual leader who follows the rules as set up in The Torah, the rules that they do not know, the rules being G-d's righteous commandments, not the rules of Bingo.

Having G-d pull you over the finish line with a heave and a ho, as you bless those who curse you, to come out ahead, and to know instead that this is how to be the family "mensch."